How to be single, fly solo, and still be social

Posted: March 25, 2012 in Real Life
Tags: , , ,

I want to be the poster boy for being single.  I hear friends, usually women, complaining on Facebook about how it sucks to be single, yada yada yada.  I’ve been single for so long, I feel like I’ve basically mastered it.  It’s a comfortable place for me. My life feels full, and it is hard to imagine fitting another person into it.

Being single doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re alone. It doesn’t stop you from hanging out with friends. It simply means that you lack a sexual/romantic partner.  In my situation, tho, I’m frequently doing things by myself.  My friends either don’t share the same interests with me or aren’t available due to kids, relationships, etc.

Some time ago, I decided that I wanted to do “things” and I wasn’t going to not do those “things” just because someone wasn’t available to do them with me. I go to the movies more than most of my friends. I go to metal concerts, and most of them don’t listen to that kind of music. Et cetera. I can’t see any point in putting my life on hold just because no one else’s schedule is clear.

On the flip side, I totally see the advantages. When I go to a movie, I’m there to watch the movie. Whether other people are there or not is inconsequential. When I go to see a band, I’m there to enjoy the music and the experience.  That doesn’t require two people. When I go on road trips, I can stop wherever I want and take detours whenever I want.  The only schedule is my schedule. If I decide that I want to go do something an hour from now, I can. I don’t have to worry about whether someone else is available on such short notice.

Technology has helped too.  Especially with road trips, I admit that it’s scarier getting lost on side roads by yourself than if you had another person with you.  With GPS and navigation available on smartphones, however, that is no longer a concern. I can easily and confidently explore at my leisure and not worry about whether or not I’ll find my way back to the highway.

Technology also helps take the loneliness out of being alone.  Through social media such as Twitter, Facebook, and Foursquare, I can share what I’m doing.  This isn’t necessarily to brag, but it is to share and allow others to participate.  It’s like I’m taking everyone with me, in a non-interfering way. They can comment and offer suggestions or even get ideas for things that they may want to do.  Part of the reason I share what I’m doing is for education. Some people still don’t realize that there’s an IMAX screen in our local AMC theaters, so when I’m seeing a movie on the IMAX screen, I share that to remind people that there’s an IMAX screen available within a short traveling distance.

Every week I share my checkin at my local comic book store.  I do this because I’m happy about it but also to help support the business by spreading the word, to get the name of the store in front of people’s eyes.  If there’s a local event going on, I try to share it in advance and also while I’m there.

I think that when I’m doing something, and especially when I’m doing something with someone, it’s fun to share that.  I really can’t relate to people that don’t want to share where they are and who they are with. I don’t understand the need for secrecy.  I realize there’s a point of oversharing, but I try to be balanced. Sure, I checkin everywhere on Foursquare because that’s the venue for that sort of behavior.  I just don’t always post those checkins to other places.  I think anyone that’s truly a friend, not just people in the friends category on Facebook, are happy to see what you’re doing and, if you’re hanging out with friends, that you are.  I know I am.  I like seeing when people that I know are out having a good time.

I think that the single life is what you make of it. I think you can have plenty of fun by yourself, and you shouldn’t put your life, your fun and enjoyment, on hold just because someone else may not be available.  If you want someone to share the experience with, share it with everyone.  That’s what Facebook and other sites are for.

I hope that I can be an example to people that shows that you don’t have to have a significant other in order to have a full life.  There’s plenty to do, you just have to aim to do it. Don’t let others hold you back. What are you waiting for? If you want to do it, do it.

  1. I really liked your post…it’s just not when you are single that you worry about company and plans are put on hold because of lack of it…when you are married/ in a relationship also u tend to depend on your husband/ boyfriend to do things together and most of times the trips /plans get cancelled because the othe person’s schedule changes …it’s highly irritating…ur post has given me inspiration to try n do things by myself and find fun in them

    • slakker9 says:

      That’s great to hear. Yes, it’s definitely fun to do things with people, but we shouldn’t miss out on opportunities just because others can’t or don’t want to. And if it’s someone that you’re in a relationship with, hopefully they’ll understand and even be inspired to do the same when there’s something they want to do and your schedule conflicts.

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