Archive for September, 2013

Relationships make me sad.

Posted: September 29, 2013 in Random
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Well, not really, but I have noticed that my reaction to them is not like the others.  The other day a friend changed her relationship status on Facebook announcing that she was in a relationship with some guy.  I didn’t click like on the status. I didn’t congratulate her. Beyond curiosity of who he is, I didn’t have much reaction at all.

I began thinking about my reaction, or lack thereof, and the more I dwelled on it, I began to put my feelings in the category of disappointment.  As I’ve mentioned before, I sometimes see myself as somewhat of a champion of the single life. My superpower is not feeling lonely.  Go have fun, even if it’s by yourself.  What matters is what you’re doing, not who you’re doing it with.  At least that’s my mentality.

I’m not one of those people in denial that proclaims, “I’ve chosen to be single” when everyone can list a number of reasons why that person is single.  No, single is just where I happen to find myself, and I’ve chosen to make the most of it.  I  hope that if I ever do find myself in a relationship, I continue to do the things that I love.  I suppose the key to that is finding someone who has the same passions.  For now, though, I’m content to be by myself.

As Tyler Durden put it, “We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”

A short list of assholes.

Posted: September 27, 2013 in Random
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I mean, sure, anyone can be an asshole at any given time, but this is a short list of unconventional assholes.  Just people that really annoy me.

  1. People that back into parking spaces. Just pull in like everyone else, you asshole.
  2. People that proclaim, “today is my Friday!” Listen up, asshole. Just because you have a few extra days off doesn’t mean we’re changing the calendar.
  3. People that tailgate in the middle lane. Hey asshole, you’ve got two other choices. You don’t have to be here.
  4. People that litter. Hey asshole, it’s the 21st century. You still haven’t figured out where to put your trash?
  5. People that are driving and then stop way too soon for you to cross the parking lot.  I’ve barely reached the curb, and you had plenty of time to go by.  Now I’ve stopped to see if you’re going to go, and you’ve stopped to make me feel obligated to cross.  Stop being such an asshole and be a better judge of timing.  Do I look like I was planning to run out into parking lot traffic to commit suicide?

If you have suggestions for additions to the list, leave them in the comments.

No Respect

Posted: September 16, 2013 in Random, Real Life

Unless I’ve made an appointment to see you because of some ailment, I don’t care if you’re a doctor.  Unless I’ve visited your church or asked you for spiritual counseling, I don’t care if you’re a reverend.  Allow me to elaborate.

Today I was working on logging the names and addresses of people that wanted to opt out of a class action settlement.  Some of these individuals made a point to mention that they were a doctor or a reverend.  I give absolutely zero fucks. I just need your first name and last name.

Being a doctor or a reverend means to me that you went to school for many years to become an expert at something, or at least very knowledgeable.  Well, unless I’m calling upon that knowledge, I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit.  I can still recall taking technical support calls and asking for someone’s name and they’d tell me they were DOCTOR so-and-so or REVEREND blah-blah-blah.  You know what? You’re having problems with your computer and calling for my expertise, so I’m gonna need you to simmer down with all of that title bullshit.  Right now, I’m the doctor of not giving a shit and the reverend of step down off of your pedestal so that I can help you with whatever your petty customer service question is.

I appreciate the fact that you’ve gone to school for many years to obtain that title; however, when you take on the role of customer, you don’t deserve any more respect than any other customer.  You’re not special.  Not in this instance.  You’re just like all of the others having problems with your internet/cable/phone/microwave/whatever, and you being a doctor or reverend doesn’t help me assist you.  It only wastes a few extra seconds of everyone’s time for you to feel the need to brag.