Posts Tagged ‘relationships’


Pathway In Forest Of Thailand

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about being single, so I’ve been thinking about it lately. Not that it’s ever been the sole motivation for what I do or post, but in the past I’ve tried to portray myself in contrast to friends that were bemoaning not being in a relationship. Not to rub their face in anything, but to say, “Hey, look over here. I’m having a good time… by myself.” Well, things change. (more…)


brokenheart

When you read this, it will have been almost a month since the Santa Barbara tragedy.  I had an idea for a post, and as soon as I read about this incident, I decided to combine the two.

I’ve never really been good with the ladies.  In 4th grade I had to start wearing glasses.  I also had a gap in my front teeth before such a thing was cool. (That’s cool now, right Mike Tyson?)  My hair was oily, and I didn’t have a very cool haircut.  I’d venture to say that girls probably found me pretty repulsive.  Maybe repulsive is too strong of a word.  Anyway, you get the point. (more…)


Embed from Getty Images

 

I’m not going to say that coworkers and friends are mutually exclusive.  I have some really close friends that were once my coworkers.  It is definitely possible for a coworker to be a friend… but it is NOT REQUIRED.

See, your friends hang out with you because you enjoy each others’ company, have things in common, a similar sense of humor, etc.  No one is paying your friends to hang out with you.  If they were being paid to be around you, then they wouldn’t be your friends.

Your coworkers are paid to spend time with you. Well, not directly.  They are there with you because you’re all being paid to work.  The point is that they are not there voluntarily.

Where am I going with all this?  The point that I want to make is that you are a grown ass adult.  Act like it.  If your coworkers are also your friends, that’s great, but don’t get your feelings all wrapped up in expecting them to treat you like your friends do if they are not your friends.


'Romantic dinner in the cabana' photo (c) 2010, Jenny Mealing - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
I hope that, if I ever find myself in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, I still won’t buy into that whole mentality.  People that are only romantic on Valentine’s Day are no better than “Christians” who only worship on Sundays.

For me, I prefer to go out on Thursday nights and stay home on Friday nights.  There are just too many people out at once on Fridays, where on Thursdays it is more relaxed and less crowded.  I don’t want to go to a crowded bar or restaurant. I want to be able to easily find a seat, sit down, and relax.

While everyone else is struggling to make last-minute reservations or fighting over parking, I’m happy to take you out on February 15th or 16th.  How does that sound?

Relationships make me sad.

Posted: September 29, 2013 in Random
Tags: , ,

Well, not really, but I have noticed that my reaction to them is not like the others.  The other day a friend changed her relationship status on Facebook announcing that she was in a relationship with some guy.  I didn’t click like on the status. I didn’t congratulate her. Beyond curiosity of who he is, I didn’t have much reaction at all.

I began thinking about my reaction, or lack thereof, and the more I dwelled on it, I began to put my feelings in the category of disappointment.  As I’ve mentioned before, I sometimes see myself as somewhat of a champion of the single life. My superpower is not feeling lonely.  Go have fun, even if it’s by yourself.  What matters is what you’re doing, not who you’re doing it with.  At least that’s my mentality.

I’m not one of those people in denial that proclaims, “I’ve chosen to be single” when everyone can list a number of reasons why that person is single.  No, single is just where I happen to find myself, and I’ve chosen to make the most of it.  I  hope that if I ever do find myself in a relationship, I continue to do the things that I love.  I suppose the key to that is finding someone who has the same passions.  For now, though, I’m content to be by myself.

As Tyler Durden put it, “We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”

Metal Rules

Posted: May 12, 2012 in Random
Tags: , , ,

You’re familiar with the Golden Rule, right? Treat others the way you expect to be treated.  Well, I was thinking of a complementary rule that would say, Treat yourself the way you expect to be treated. Basically, if the Golden Rule guides your actions towards others, this rule would guide the way you act towards yourself.  If you expect others to give you respect, then respect yourself. Thinking along those lines.

I thought that maybe this new rule could be the Platinum Rule or something, but then I did some searching online and found that not only is Platinum taken, but so are other metals.  Here’s what I found.

  • Golden Rule – One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.
  • Silver Rule – One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated. (Basically the converse of the Golden Rule.)
  • Platinum Rule – Treat others in the way they like to be treated.
  • Bronze Rule – Do unto others as they have done unto you. (revenge)
  • Copper Rule – Do unto others as you expect they’ll do unto you. (suspicion/paranoia)
  • Iron Rule – Do unto others before they do unto you. (malice)
  • There is also a Brass Rule, but I can’t figure out exactly what it means.
  • Titanium Rule – Do unto others, keeping their preferences in mind.
  • Steel Rule – Do unto others as they have done unto you in the past. (seems similar to the Bronze Rule.)
  • Hot Potato Rule – Do unto the next person what the last person did unto you. (This sounds like parents that abuse their children because they were abused by their parents.)
  • Diamond Rule – Treat others as you believe they would want you to treat them, if they knew everything that you did. (This sounds like what parents attempt to do for their children.)

Other than the Golden Rule, I’m not sure how solid or even well-known these others are.  But since so many other metals are already taken, I think I’ll dub my rule the Tungsten Rule.  If you read a little bit about Tungsten, you’ll learn that it is a very tough metal with a high melting point and high density.  I think this fits because if you get yourself in the right place first, then it can be a strong foundation for how you treat others and the quality of your relationships.  I think if you respect yourself, then others will see that and will also respect you.  If you want to be loved, then love yourself first. Don’t wait for someone to have pity on you.

So here it is:

  • Tungsten Rule – Treat yourself the way you would like for others to treat you.

********************************************************************************************

Further reading:


This could be my new job. Writing down things that annoy me could become my new obsession. I’m kidding (sort of).

Both of these have one thing in common, tho. They relate to people that have recently had breakups. Here are my observations.

  1. Being single and choosing to be single are not the same.  Today a friend on Facebook talked about why she had “chosen to be single.” Don’t get me wrong, she gave good reasons.  My problem is that 9 minutes, that’s right only 9 minutes later she says, okay I’m single, where’s my soul mate. I don’t feel like this is choosing to be single. I think this is simply being single. Choosing to be single means that you’re not looking for a soul mate. You’re not looking for any relationship whatsoever because you are happy and  have decided you don’t need another person to feel complete.  If you are of the mind set that you still want (or “need”) to find another person to be complete, then you have not chose to be single. You simply are single. (See my treatise on being single in a previous post.)
  2. After you break up, you’re the greatest person in the whole wide world.  At least according to your friends. “He’s the one that’s missing out.” “It’s his loss.” “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.” “You deserve better.” All of this amazes me. People are so quick to lift this person up, have they considered that it could be their fault after all.  I mean, when a relationship falls apart, someone as fault.  Usually, both parties share some blame even tho one will generally share more than the other.  I just find it amusing that people can’t think of anything more comforting to say than to put the person on a pedestal. Usually, it’s guys probably hoping to get in sad girl’s pants.